Monday, August 13, 2007

Shhhhhhh.....

I have been married for some time now and my beloved all though he is not home at the moment it has given me the opportunity to really reflect on my marriage and my part in it.

In my mind stay the haunting words "your spouse is your soul correction"

Why can't I let this go?

So I made a list of good attributes of my beloved. I also mad e a list of not so good attributes of myself. As I continued on I realized what my first attribute of my husband was. Soft Spoken. And I look over on mine and noticed that my first not so good attribute was Loud.
Can I tell you that hit me like a ton of bricks. WOW!!!
He is soft spoken and I am loud.
I always admired my husband for being so quiet and speaking only what he felt he had to say and nothing more and tried so many times to be more like him.
It has really brought me to an interesting point in my life.
Which brings me to the next point.
It is funny how many times I have friends come to me or complete strangers complain about their beloved.
It is one thing to acknowledge your unhappiness and that it is really your own unhappiness and ahs nothing to do with him( my own issue) But it is another thing to bash him mercillessly as he sits miles away wondering why his ears are ringing.
Do not get me wrong I am guilty as the next person. But that is the point I am guilty.
Our mouths can build or destroy.
I have had people come up to me and say what an honor it is to meet me and I look at them funny. We know your husband and he speaks nothing but highly about you...every single person including family and friends stated they have never heard my beloved say one negative thing about but continues to say all faults are his.
WHAM right in the kisser.
He is my soul correction as much as I am his and the interesting part is that the first thing that Hashem has shown me is my mouth.
How I truly would like to be as my beloved who does not say anything negative about me. It has been a burden in my heart to be more like him. To take the soul correction that Hashem is using him for.

Hopefully I can be an example to my children to only speak when necessary not just necessarily
speak

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One's belief in God must come through faith and not because of miracles. "Rebbe Nachman of Breslov"