I have forgotten my lost art of sewing and after today debating wether I like still doing it. Well I can honestly say it is always great therapy. I have made new patterns today for myself and my youngest daughter. Can I tell you I missed it so much. The last time I sewed was almost a year ago. I moved in my new house and saw my sewing machine collecting dust. Lo and behold today I had the fever. I must have cut out 6 outfits and also fudged a pattern for my youngest. I made her an outfit and had such a blast sharing with her. She chose her fabric and also her little
iron-ons :) I will be posting her outfit in a couple of days and let me know what ya think. Shalom Leah.

I would have to say this is Micheal's Greatest Contribution to the World.



"Earth Song"

What about sunrise
What about rain
What about all the things
That you said we were to gain...
What about killing fields
Is there a time
What about all the things
That you said was yours and mine...
Did you ever stop to notice
All the blood we've shed before
Did you ever stop to notice
The crying Earth the weeping shores?

Aaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaah
Aaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaah

What have we done to the world
Look what we've done
What about all the peace
That you pledge your only son...
What about flowering fields
Is there a time
What about all the dreams
That you said was yours and mine...
Did you ever stop to notice
All the children dead from war
Did you ever stop to notice
The crying Earth the weeping shores

Aaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaah
Aaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaah

I used to dream
I used to glance beyond the stars
Now I don't know where we are
Although I know we've drifted far

Aaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaah
Aaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaah
Aaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaah
Aaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaah

Hey, what about yesterday
(What about us)
What about the seas
(What about us)
The heavens are falling down
(What about us)
I can't even breathe
(What about us)
What about apathy
(What about us)
I need you
(What about us)
What about nature's worth
(ooo, ooo)
It's our planet's womb
(What about us)
What about animals
(What about it)
We've turned kingdoms to dust
(What about us)
What about elephants
(What about us)
Have we lost their trust
(What about us)
What about crying whales
(What about us)
We're ravaging the seas
(What about us)
What about forest trails
(ooo, ooo)
Burnt despite our pleas
(What about us)
What about the holy land
(What about it)
Torn apart by creed
(What about us)
What about the common man
(What about us)
Can't we set him free
(What about us)
What about children dying
(What about us)
Can't you hear them cry
(What about us)
Where did we go wrong
(ooo, ooo)
Someone tell me why
(What about us)
What about babies
(What about it)
What about the days
(What about us)
What about all their joy
(What about us)
What about the man
(What about us)
What about the crying man
(What about us)
What about Abraham
(What was us)
What about death again
(ooo, ooo)
Do we give a damn

Aaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaah

B'Simcha Homeschool Check It Out

It's not until things are gone that we realize that we take things for granted. Even if they are gone for just a moment. As everyone who knows me personally know the situation my husband and I face.
Tonight has been a repeat of many nights.
The Dr.s told my beloved that he would be paralyzed by the age of 35.
Well they were wrong.
He is 36 and still walking.
But what brings me to this?
Tonight has been a repeat of many nights.
Tonight I had to put the children to bed.
Tonight I had to help my husband to bed.
Tonight I had to get his drink of juice.
Tonight I had to help him undress.
Tonight I had to try and bring curculation to his legs.
Tonight I will be alone in my room because he cannot go up the stairs.
I am not writing for pity or a miracle.
I write for prayers to give me strength to help him.
Strength to endure this even if it is only for a moment.
It is when this happens when you think of the silly things that we take for granted on a daily basis like our evening walks.
Him running with the children or rollerblading.
Our loved ones should not be taken for granted and if they are we need to ask ourselves do we really love them properly?
Why do we have to wait until things are going wrong that we have to reflect?
Why does Hashem have to constantly give us a wake up call?
Why can we not just stand back and see all the glory and real beauty in our lives.
We are abundant with blessings.
I thank Hashem for reminding me.
I thank Hashem that he gave me such a wonderful husband and father for my children.
This is a tribute to him not when it is too late. But just in time.
I am my beloved and my beloved is mine.
What does that really mean?
I don't see it as an ownership of one to the other.
I see it as a connecton between two people that is unbreakable.
We feel what they feel.
We see what they see.
We love what they love.
We are united as one being.
We are what they are.
I think that Hashem knew this can happen between two beings We and our spouses but most importantly Hashem with Us.
He feels what we feel.
He see what we see.
He loves what we Love.
He is united to us as One.
He is what we are.
Hashem feel,see,love, and be my beloved with myself and my beloved.
Most of all Hashem give me stregth to not take you or my beloved for granted.

I have been really thinking about life and free spirit. There are many things that i would like to share but for some reason in our minds we always seem to come up with the answer no...i am too busy...not right now...but this shabbat was different. let em go back to last shabbat. Last shabbat I spent i in the hospital. For a year now I have been dealing with this terrible pain in my abdomen and have found every excuse as to not get it checked out. i don't have money for another bill. I don't have insurance. And with this one word of no I suffered for a year in pain unable to enjoy a meal. something so simple as a meal with my family always ended in pain. I would have to leave the able and sit upstairs and not just the physical pain that it has caused me but also the pain of not being able to participate in anything. Mama can you play with me...no honey i don't feel well, mama can you read to me...no i don't feel well, mama..no..mam...no...
Well last week I could bear the pain no more. I decided on Thursday to go to the emergency room and have myself checked out. Well, it turned out to be a hernia and i had surgery Friday morning and spent my shabbat in the hospital. It was a sad shabbat at home and my family spent it very lonely. i was honored as to how much i was missed. But this past week i have been noticing how many times i say no. how many times in my life that I pass life with such a negative attitude and answer. How much I have missed out on because i just didn't give myself the opportunity to have a free spirit to be spontaneous or absurd every now and again. Simple things in life can mean so much if we just give ourselves the opportunity to just say yes my dear i will play with you. Yes my beloved i will go on that walk. Yes tell me about your day. Yes i want that new trinket. But most of all Yes Hashem I want to talk. I want to be a free spirit and live. I just don't want to be another person just existing. I want to live life and know that I have impacted all of those whom I love. when my time has come what will they say when i am gone. will they mourn the loss for me or for themselves. My grandfather was in his 90's when he passed away 6 years ago. But the beauty of his passing was not that we felt bad for him. we mourned for our loss of not having his jokes that he always had to share or the way he smiled. It truly was our loss to see him go. Although he was ready to go and lived a long and full life. His was complete but he left ours empty. What will we live behind. do we really know what our children and family and friends think? Have we really impacted them? or did we just do our job and wait for the end. this past shabbat was so beautiful. my oldest daughter and I stayed up until 2 am laughing and talking and just being ourselves. It was like a slumber party. There really isn't anything that she could tell me that would disappoint me or take away those precious moments. But it is those moments that are real. When people can see the real you and feel blessed that you are in their lives. Just say yes to life ...you won't regret it.

This is scary because people think these things happened 70 or 100 or maybe 400 years ago but the message is today and very much the same. Hashem help us make Teshuva and help us defeat our enemies.


Zahar Claims Victory, Calls to Kill Jewish Children
by Maayana Miskin
(IsraelNN.com) Hamas spokesman Mahmoud Az-Zahar claimed victory for Hamas on Monday, saying Hamas had succeeded in “destroying Israel's sense of security” with its rocket attacks. Zahar made his proclamation in video footage sent from a secret hideout, where he is taking shelter in order to avoid being targeted in an IAF strike. Other Hamas leaders have gone into hiding as well.
Zahar directed his message to Hamas' troops, and promised them victory over the IDF. “We must be patient until we are victorious, Allah will help us,” he said. Hundreds of Hamas terrorists have been killed since the “Cast Lead” operation began last week, including 100 since the start of Israel's ground operation, and several of the group's senior leaders have been assassinated. Dozens have been taken prisoner as well.
The Hamas leader called to murder Israelis and Jews worldwide, including children. “The Israelis have sentenced their children to death... They have legitimized the killing of their people all over the world,” he said. Hamas' platform calls for all Jews to convert to Islam or be killed, based on an Islamic saying (Hadith), and the group has not refrained from targeting children in the past.
Hamas will destroy synagogues and Jewish schools as well, Zahar said, just as Israel destroyed mosques in Gaza. Israel bombed several mosques used to store rockets and ammunition.
Zahar suggested Hamas was prepared to seek a ceasefire, saying Hamas would discuss “whatever is good for our people.” He issued a list of demands, saying any ceasefire must include a complete end to IDF counterterrorism activities, Hamas control of the Gaza coast and the opening of Israeli crossings.
Israel has not offered Hamas a ceasefire, and Prime Minister Ehud Olmert recently said operations in Gaza would continue “until we achieve our goals.”

Well I must say that my day has ended beautifully. I think of how things were a year ago and B'H' Things have changed so much. Today for the first time in in our marriage of 11 years my beloved and I took the children to a hill that is about a block from our home. It was late and in homeschooling there are no snow days. But they beauty is being spontaneous and just doing things without a thought. We bundled the children and ourselves and headed for the hill. It first began with a snowball, the a snow man, and jumped into sledding. No I am not talking about just my children I speak of my beloved and myself.
Marriage is hard and long and tough. But...it has its moments that can never be forgotten.
There is a song by Sheryl Crow that states "we can live lifetimes in a single day" how true it is. I remember the suffering that my beloved and I have gone through and the pain and sweat and literally blood and tears.
How far we have come and grown.
Today we lived a lifetime. Today we laughed, smiled and played in a way that I don't think we have ever done. As I look at marriages around me and watch them fall apart for reasons I cant seem to fathom anymore. I cannot understand how people can live together for years and still be with a stranger.
Why?
What does one want?
The question is what should one give?
Many people know my story and know how my beloved and I have struggled.
I do not claim to have the perfect marriage.
But it is perfect for me.
He is perfect for me.
I didn't repair my marriage. I began a new one but with the same man.
I don't remember what happened the last 11 years. It seems so long ago as if it were a different life. I look back and see different people so foreign to me.
Who was my beloved?
Who was I?
Can a person truly get past the pain of the past?
My husband asked me how did I do it?
How did I forgive and continue?
The only answer I gave him is forgive what?
I don't acknowledge yesterday. It is gone and I will never have to deal with it again.
Rebbe Nachman says that start anew at this very moment as if you did not do anything wrong and it is so true with everything.
There truly is peace in forgiveness. Not just for the person you are forgiving but more so for yourself.
Every day I am married anew with my beloved and yes we have disagreements and petty arguments. But it is a new one. This is a new day to love and share and grow and learn.

But I would say the secret is being a family. Not just living in a home and having separate lives. This is including the children. But being a family, talking, sharing, laughing, and yes having a snowball fight. Go down the hill with a sled and race with your children, Make a snowman or build a fort with your beloved. Because time passes quickly and you may never have that opportunity again,

I know you may think well you don't know my husband or wife. you don't know what I have been through but reality is, is that that statement is irrelevant. If your beloved is your sou correction then learn from your beloved. The good and the negative traits. There is something to be learned and the sooner you learn it the sooner your marriage can grow. And then you can have a snowball fight!

Ahh who knows I may be wrong...may be..maybe not.

Shalom, Leah

Well it is snowing here in Lancaster County and can I tell you it is beautiful. I sit looking out my window and dream of what I am going to be doing this spring. I plan to make my garden. But what I am looking forward to is sitting next to my warn fake fireplace LOL and crochet a few more much need kippas. School for once is going smoothly and can you believe I am not behind this year. That's a first LOL. But all is well in Leah Country. I am planning on getting my gardening supplies early this year. also getting the much needed supplies to build the children their sandbox. Although we are on a very tight budget I am managing to take a few dollars a week and get started on getting the much needed items for the spring. Well have to go my husband is placing more shelves in the school room to help me reorganize it. Shalom Aleichem, Leah