Monday, November 5, 2007
I know there are times when we feel that we have the right to criticise our children. But I have learned that there is no point at any time when we are able to criticize out children because the damage is irreparable. We have been blessed with this beautiful gift of a child and think that as they get older they can handle the rejection of society so we decide to become that voice. How wrong we are to take that approach. We can look for logical ways to sit here and justify why we criticize. But lets not leave it at just our children that are younger let's look at them when they are grown. We can easily justify that snapping at them and telling them how disappointed we are or what ever it is. Let's look out our spouses the ones that we are quickly to devour with unkind words and criticism. I fight with this on a daily basis for I feel that I can justify my actions because my own stresses and nothing is further from the truth.
Our Little children need to grow in an environment where there is love and respect and kind words. Then to our surprise the children are fighting with each other and we wonder why would you treat you brother or sister like that. Where did they learn it from? You guessed it right there at home with Mom and Dad.
Woman how do you expect your daughter to marry. Think of the example you have set and then ask yourself again. I have taught my daughter to be strong and independent. I look back and regret. I taught to be independent not a team player. Marriage and Family is a team. Not an independent entity.
She is older now and soon will be smitten and in love and ready to marry. What am I giving her husband? Will he be disappointed on what I have set before past the pretty eyes and smile. Does he have a woman who will love him and embrace him and give him a home of Shalom Bayit?
Will my Boys grow up to be men who cherish and respect and honor their wives. Or will they throw a tantrum the minute things do not go their way? Or feel hey have the right to be mean because of what they feel hey deserve in life.
Oh Hashem have mercy on us all and for the sake of the future of Israel may other Mother's have the same plea as myself. Gaurd them, Love them, Cherish them. Do not criticize your family because what comes out of your mouth IS what comes to pass. G-d Forbid.
Speak good things and speak kindly and nurture them with love and gentleness.