Monday, March 13, 2006


It has been a bad day. I ask Hashem to hear my prayer as I cry over my dirty laundry in the bathtub. I hand wash everything for not everyone is fortunate to have a washing machine. But, every now and again I have the disappointment of looking down into my tub and notice that something blue bled all over my clothing and there I sit in complete sadness as to why?
I sat and cried and asked Hashem why am I who is so poor have to ruin the only few shirts that I have . Could He not have ruined the ones I didn't care for? Could he have not ruined something old that I no longer cared to wear? But.... There I sat crying. Over a few silly shirts and clothing of my children. Why?
There I cried and thought to myself Hashem can you not please take it a little easy on me.
Hashem in his wonderful kindness reminded me to be with Simcha. Be happy!
BE HAPPY? Are you serious? Your kidding right?
How can I be happy when I am unemployed?
How can I be happy when I barely have money to make ends meet?
How can I be happy when my children's father is nowhere around me and leaving me to raise these children alone?
How can I be happy when I can't even get 10 minutes to pray?
It was at that moment when I realized that I could be happy.
Hashem chose that exact moment to open the door for me to cry out to Him. I finally had a moment alone with Him to complain and then finally give thanks that if it wasn't for the clothes that I had ruined I wouldn't have came to Him.
So now I cry of Simcha. He wanted to hear from me. Hashem wanted my tears of desperation and tears of sadness to turn them into tears of joy.

"There can be no peace in the world until there is joy in the world."
Rebbe Nachman of Breslov

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One's belief in God must come through faith and not because of miracles. "Rebbe Nachman of Breslov"