Monday, August 14, 2006

One of my prayers

One of my prayers on Shabbat caught me a little off guard. I did my family...distant more observant....Make aliyah...but what caught me off guard was to keep my mouth shut.I begged Hashem to keep me from saying any unkind words.I was tested today. For work I carry a lot of money on which is from the petty cash. Today was only 150 dollars. Well don't you know it disappeared. You come to a point in your life that you get tired of asking why. To my surprise I was looked up to heaven and said OK Hashem OK. I f you want to give it back that's ok and if I need to pay it back out of my own money that's ok too. WOW!!!! I was starting to worry but there it rang in my head DO NOT DESPAIR! It is so hard when you lose money especially money that isn't yours. So OK Hashem OK... I looked everywhere and then decided to just leave it. When I came home for lunch don't you know there it sat in the middle of the living room floor. No Way!!!Mind you it had 20 dollars missing and then I was getting upset because I wondered how could someone steal from me. SMACK!!!! How dare I. I just said OK Hashem and now I find it and instead of being thankful I am upset that someone took 20 dollars from it. How arrogant. I was humbled quick in the back of mind I just heard myself say Leah keep your mouth shut. What would I gain from confrontation, strife, anger?Spend it well. And if you need a couple of dollars let me know. And that I say with sincereity.

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One's belief in God must come through faith and not because of miracles. "Rebbe Nachman of Breslov"