I was at my family reunion this weekend and unfortunately without my beloved. My dear brother works diligently everyday. He has never been married and has no children of his own. He is very wealthy but told me how tortured his soul is. Yet, my grandmother was there and was married for 60 years.
What is the secret to this?
The day my grandfather passed away my grandmother cried and said her soul hurted. (Not her heart....her soul)
What does that mean?
I had to sit back and think about this. I go through my day always struggling within my self. I looked at my brother and said we live in a day where people do not love completely. We love with standards and precedence. We look at our spouse and pick apart every flaw and detail.
I will love him if........
I will stay with him if....
But if he doesn't do what I want from him I will leave him
My grandmother never did anything in her life except love completely. .She loved her husband and her children with every ounce of her being and is a lovely wise woman today.
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Woman please look at what we are teaching our children.
We expect a certain thing and then if they do not comply we separate. I know for I have been separated before.
Can we sit here and consciously say that we truly love our husbands?
If they do not comply with what your idea is of what a husband should be do you threaten to leave him?
I am not speaking of a dangerous or destructive relationship. Those are ones that one should not even attempt.
But, my beloved was not with me and I could only think of how I felt so lost without him there. I realized that when they are not with you is when you think of the ways you could have done it different so that maybe they would have been there.
My heart breaks when I see marriages fall apart because one person will not bend. When you have 2 people who will not give in and show kindness and love we are showing our children to be numb in a numb society. Eventfully the society will be so numb that the most awful things will become the norm.
Hashem said that the two shall become one (not just in flesh but also in spirit and soul) henceforth our soul mate.
The soul mate is not meant to be perfect. They are our soul correction. They are what make us grow with them and Hashem.
If they did everything we wanted we would still find a flaw. For then we would not grow in Torah! Our families would not excel. Why would we cry out to Hashem if he did everything we wanted? Henceforth there would be no need to cry out to Hashem.
In The Fall Hashem cursed each one. The Man, the Woman, and the Serpent. Look at the curses.
Man Could still cry out to Hashem for need of his Livelihood.
Woman would still cry out to Hashem from her pain and suffering.
The serpent will never cry out for it does not need Hashem. It is separated from Hashem and will eat the dirt and never be able to lift up it's head and cry out to Hashem.
The next time your Husband does not comply with what it is that you want. Thank Hashem that he loved you enough to show that your soul needs correction.
Evaluate why this is happening? It's ok to ask Hashem why? What is Hashem trying to showing me?What is in my husband that I am not seeing in myself? How can I accept with love the soul correction? How can I do better?
Oh Hashem how I love you....How much Hashem loves me to pick this husband for me that would help me to grow. To become a better mother,, wife, friend, nursemaid...etc...
Love your husbands, pray for your husbands and most of all set the examples. Teach your children how much we love our spouses so they in turn will accept the soul correction of their spouse(soul mate)