Monday, August 20, 2007

Women and her friends (Speaking about the Husband)

I must say that I myself have been guilty of this terrible act. As you noticed I have placed some lessons about speaking evil. But the one thing that woman have a tendency of doing and sometimes not even realizing is the speech concerning her husband.
We go to our friends with our problems and I have noticed on countless amount of times when I ask them if they confronted their husband and spoke to them they say Oh he never listens to me and I ahve said it a thousand times to him. And complain til the cows come home with a bitter taste in their mouths.
They continue to go and tell the same story to all their friends and place themselves as a victim in the circumstance.
But, my question is did you go to the only true friend you have concerning your husband?
Did you go to Hashem and pour your heart out and ask why is he doing this or help him? Have you broken your heart to Hashem concerning this? Have you cried out to him from the depths of you soul?
You see it is easy to go to a girlfriend and talk about your husband. You can offend and most likely he will never find out. But that friend goes to another and another and one does not know the damage one is causing to one's spouse. The negativity that one speaks about one's husband is a thing that you will see come to flourish. You speak it enough and it will come to pass.
But if you go to Hashem and complain about him I guarantee He will not stand for you talking about His son that way. He will ask you what have you done to help him correct this problem. Hashem knows the whole story. We are not victims to Him. We are just as guilty.
I have been trying to speak only positive things about my beloved. And if any negative come up I talk to my Father and Best friend and Tell him why is this happening and what do I need to learn from it.
You see we are the mirror of them. We are a reflection of our beloved. So before you go off and complain to your friends look in the mirror and talk to Hashem and ask Him to show you what it is you must learn and do not...DO NOT go and tell other people who are outside of your home unless it is someone qualified to give you
a. the proper advice according to Torah ( Biblical)
b. the proper spiritual advice
That should always be the last resort. If you have gone to Hashem and He has led you this way then good. But first, go to Hashem and tell Him about it not your girlfriends.

1 comment:

Mama Kim said...

I myself have found this to be true. I have learned that there is much more I can do to help my husband by uplifting his name and reputation, than by tearing him down with complaints. I have also learned that it is better to talk to G-d about my worries and frustrations with my husband's behavior if it upsets me - either I am shown the error of my ways and how I should improve my own attitude and behavior, or my husband "comes around" and things improve through the grace of G-d. This post is excellent and would benefit many wives to learn from.

One's belief in God must come through faith and not because of miracles. "Rebbe Nachman of Breslov"