Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Hard Lesson to Learn Teshuva

It truly has been a very hard week of teshuva but the beauty of it is that there is teshuva. Every year I seem to learn more and more about myself and what I need to do to improve. For years I have been battling anger. The tendency of taking things to heart and blowing up. But this year Hashem truly is working on me and I on myself. Many things that would normally get me going I seem to have been having different ways of dealing with them. My beloved truly is tested as well. It is times like these when I really feel as though I have failed Hashem and know that there is so much for me to learn I feel like the child posted above. I truly feel like a child and ask Tati why? what more can I do tati to change? I ball up and cry like a child. But the wonderful thing is that Tati brings me to this point. My dear Abba blessed be He brings me to the point of tears and repentance. Trult this is a time of Awe. I feel that sometimes there is no change for me and then I change. Maybe just a little but I feel the change.
Toda Abba

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One's belief in God must come through faith and not because of miracles. "Rebbe Nachman of Breslov"