Wednesday, September 6, 2006

Ima can you read me a story

It was a rough day yesterday. I had to go to work and at the same time make sure that the children did their studies on cyber school which I had to monitor from work online. Also I have 7 apartments I have to rent out this month on my property. I also had to tend to the office issues. Regional Manager will be here in the morning and have to figure what is for dinner (Guess Peanut Butter sandwiches and chips will have to do with a cup of juice.) I also need to make sure that a load of laundry gets done. My son is throwing a Tantrum with his older sister. Eliana got into my make up again. I had to finish up whatever school they didn't do (mind you they didn't get much done.) reexamine has Hebrew school tomorrow. Did I wash his clothes?Put the children in the Bath get them ready for bed and while they are dressing I am yelling at the boy's DON"T FORGET THE SHEMA!!!!! FILL UP YOUR CUPS OF WATER!!!! DON'T PUT THEM UNDER THE BED!!I HAVE TOLD YOU THIS A MILLION TIMES YADA YADA YADA!!!! I don't have enough time...Not for the children...Not for myself....Not for anyone. Hashem help me!!!!Wow. It is 8:00 o clock my time.....My quiet time....Finally relaxation and I can do something. What? I don't know. From behind the door peers this little face. My youngest Eliana is a spunky little 3 year old. She asks in a soft voice....Ima? Can you read me a story?It is at this point in time that the Yetzer attacks. This is the type of mother you are. What good is it to provide if you can't speak softly and read the kid a story. It attacks in full force. I wont tell you everything it said cause it is pretty mean.At that point I thought to myself. Hashem...Why do you bring me revelations or enlightment if you know that I am going to do this again tomorrow. Guilt begins also at full force. Abba is so good to me. He made me realize that He doesn't put me in this situation to despair and get depressed. He puts me in this situation to be aware and try to change little at a time.Mind you I was relieved and I took 5 minutes of my time to read to me daughter and she took 25 minutes of my time to read to me. I think I heard Once upon a time 150 times last night. But it was the best story I ever heard.So remember when the Yetzer begins to attack.Hashem does not want you to be guilty...He wants you to be aware.

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One's belief in God must come through faith and not because of miracles. "Rebbe Nachman of Breslov"